Hello. This is my quick reflection on Year 2021. I remember sitting in my childhood bedroom at the end of December 2020 promising myself that I would make my 2021 matter. I never said it was going to be an unforgettable year where I achieved great things — no. My past self just wanted something significant in her life to happen, something that she could take with her and use in the future. And I believe it did happen. It wasn’t a singular event or moment that passed causing a big change in my life — it was the year as a whole that was the change.
Well, most of all, I became more self-aware. Sometimes an individual would ask me about myself and, usually, I had a hard time saying something worth attention. I genuinely didn’t know much about myself and what I was doing, basically just felt lost. But this year I finally settled on my goals, learned more about myself, my character and my direction in life (kind of). That’s what I’m truly grateful for, because, for example, I have a friend who can’t decide what she wants to do after college and it really stresses her out to say the least. And you know how important it is for a person in their early twenties. I just wish I could help her find what it is that her soul is seeking.
Second, I think I gained a lot of new experience that I had never quite thought I’d get. I won’t go into detail, but I had my first official job in Russia and well, now I know how it’s all done and what some of the downsides are. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, I think I might have lost more than I found, however, I’m a person who thinks that a bad experience is also experience so now I know what kind of job I don’t want to do.
Moreover, I had my first teaching experience which made me reconsider practically everything I knew about this profession. So, in a way, it was an eye-opening experience and now I’m more open-minded which is something I always want to pursue.
And now for the collage.
This was another year of travel for me: within my country and abroad (following all the COVID safety measures, of course). It felt strange that I finally had my own money to spend on traveling because I constantly had to remind myself that it was exactly what I worked for. And I’ll forever be thankful for the opportunity to go places as it is always an opportunity to learn more.
Then there are studies and work. Pretty self-explanatory, I think. I do have to quickly mention that my level did go down while I was chasing the money (the very thing I’d been so scared of: choosing money forgetting about the knowledge when I actually didn’t have to), I was so extremely tired all the time which made me put the studies on the back burner. And, mind you, I was very well aware of it, so imagine the fight that was going on inside my head literally all the time. In the end, I did choose the studies because I knew that they will stand me well in the long run while at work, I had no future at all.
And lastly, the picture with a girl. It stands for me finally finding peace of mind that I’d been eager to have for a long time. Peace of mind with myself and my decisions, my family relationships and friendships, my path. I know it’s something that’ll go away soon as there always will be more problems and anxieties, but be sure that I’ll savor every waking moment of it while it’s still with me.
All and all, I guess this year was just like any other year but with some more challenges and struggles, but also with good moments that I hope will stay in my heart forever. I can’t wait for what the future hold for me after I graduate university and I admit it is sort of terrifying but in a good cool way so we’ll be alright. I’m hopeful that 2022 will be as eventful and colorful as 2021 was.